orientation

into third day of orientation for my new residency. people are super cool and bright. start friday in Coronary critical care unit.

found a place to live... redondo beach, few blocks from the beach. it is this little bungalow behind a single mom and her two kids. a hideaway. want to try and paint it tomorrow before friday starts. there has been a lurking feeling that this country and medicine are misguided, drastically. in so many ways. we just got told yesterday that if a patient vistor comes to the hospital and collapses it might be better not to touch the patient for liability reasons. in a plane it might be better to say you arent a doc... pretty misguided.

been reading krishnamurti a bit... always challenges the kind of cookie cutter approaches to life that i can fall into. puts into question what is worth living for and priorities and what is the measure of success that everybody is striving for without really pressing the underlying reason for that seeking... why do we get more conservative as we get older and joy seems to leak out and slip away from the older and older folks.

my uncle had a heart attack on monday night... been back and forth to orientation and the hospital... last week so much partying for b's wedding. this week life turned on a dime.

s