30 day experiment

Inspired by experiments in truth part 2 by guri(she is definitely an inspiration in many ways- see link on my page) I am going to make my own experiment. Push my boundaries. I am on a 80 hour work week schedule this month. calls every 5 nights for 30 hours. today was the first day.

i am going to make a committment to not complain this month. I try not to complain much but the culture of medicine is to complain. It is almost a bonding ritual. A way to create comradarie. But it is not healthy.

I remember a few years ago when I hung out with a couple that used to work with Cesar Chavez. He would go over the day at 6 in the morning and then ask the couple when they would want to meet at night. When they said, "We have kids, we gotta get them to sleep." He would say "Okay, lets meet at 1 am at this coffee shop and organize tomorrow for the farm workers" And when folks would complain he would tell them that no matter how hard they worked, or sweated or suffered it was not comparable to the plight of the farmworker.

I think of that alot in the hospital. I am healthy. That should be a source of gratitude. And the hospital should remind you of that. No matter how much I struggle for my patients in this county hospital- from so many inefficiencies and lack of adequate resources and frustrations of being a doctor in the county it is nothing compared to trying to navigate a health care system that counts you as a number when you are sick and poor and not knowing where the hell you are going to find the money to pay for any of this care but you are sick and poor. and really sick. and maybe pretty young and an immigrant. That reality I don't know and hope never to know.

But this month it will be the awareness of the tongue. The counting of the complaints that rise from the back of my throat.


Sri